How many times have you told yourself that if you had more confidence, you’d be more successful? Pretty often, right? Here’s something to think about: Confidence is not something you have, it’s something you create. Confidence is nothing more than a sense of power in yourself. It’s the feeling of certainty that you can accomplish whatever you set your mind to. Confidence comes from within, and you can create more at any time.
That’s not to say learning how to be confident will solve all your problems. Everyone has bad days or moments that make them feel terrible. Being confident also doesn’t mean you’re completely sure of yourself at all times. Creating confidence is not about knowing it all; it’s about trusting that no matter what happens in a particular situation, you’ll be able to handle and learn from the outcome.
The desire to be confident in yourself means a willingness to change your state. Your state is essentially your mood at any given time of day. Your mood is influenced by how you feel about yourself at that point in time – if you are constantly doubting your ability to do something, then you won’t believe you can do it. Confidence draws from a powerful sense of self-belief. If you’ve been drowning yourself in negative thoughts, confidence is not going to come easily.
The good news is you can change your state at any moment in time, no matter what’s going on around you, as long as you know how to do it. There are three tactics that will enable you to be confident in yourself.
Think about an acquaintance of yours whom you consider extremely confident. When you first met them, did you know they were confident before they even started speaking? You probably did. You knew they were self-assured because of the way they carried themselves and moved around. They made eye contact, shook your hand firmly and stood up straight. Physiology is key when learning how to be confident.
Confidence and self-assurance are often paired together. If you’re not feeling confident, you can’t always mentally convince yourself to feel more self-assured, and vice versa. What’s your posture like? How are you breathing? We all get in negative states from time to time, slouching over keyboards and shuffling from room to room. You have the power to change how you’re feeling by controlling the way your body moves and the way you present yourself. The fastest way to start feeling more confident is to radically change your physiology.
Deliberately move your body with intensity and power; the way you move your body immediately affects how you feel and think. Stand up straight. Square your shoulders and open up your chest. Breathe deeply. If you walk around, maintain brisk, purposeful strides to cover a great deal of ground. Maintaining a posture like this makes you feel stronger and where your body goes, your mind follows.
Say you’re learning how to be more confident because you’re being asked to give a presentation to a large crowd. You’re already nervous about going onstage, and you’re sure that this will affect your performance. This is damaging your state; if you keep dwelling on how nervous you are and how you are afraid you’re going to flub your lines or stumble, you’re going to set yourself up for failure.
Change what you think about when you imagine yourself onstage. Instead of getting hung up on all the ways it could go wrong, focus on all the ways it could go right. Think about how you’re going to nail your presentation and how pleased your coworkers will be to hear it.
What you focus on becomes your reality. If you’re stuck on thinking you’ll stutter through your performance and you’ll end up looking like a fool, you probably will. Focus instead on the raving fans you’ll have after you ace the presentation. By changing your focus, you’re effectively changing your state. This allows you to build the confidence that you need to be more successful in your delivery.
Don’t create a negative, self-fulfilling prophecy. Think of yourself succeeding and work toward that goal instead. You get what you focus on,and visualizing your goal will lead to an immediate spike in confidence.
CHANGE YOUR CORE BELIEFS
What do you think being confident entails? You may have some idea that confidence only stems from prior success – that you can only be confident in yourself after you’ve become wildly successful. This sort of core beliefseverely limits you. Instead of assuming that confidence is for others, think about what confidence means to you.
Being confident doesn’t mean you never fail. Being confident means that if you do fail, you can pick yourself back up and try again instead of throwing in the towel. True confidence embodies a willingness to go on even when faced with adversity. Whatever happens, you can face it and come out on top. That’s confidence.
If you begin believing that you have the capacity to be confident and accomplish your goals, you’ll drastically change your state. How do you create that level of belief? By accepting that your potential is unlimited. Are your actions reflecting your unlimited potential right now? Probably not. That’s all right. You know exactly where you need to begin. Once you start taking actionable steps toward your goal – being confident – your beliefs will gradually start to solidify, too.
RID YOURSELF OF SELF DOUBT AND ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS FASTER
Discovering how to be confident in yourself isn’t an overnight process – it takes time. By shifting how you present yourself physically and what you focus on mentally, you can create confidence that will help propel you toward your goals.